15 Dec Guest Post
Hello,how has the day of rest been for you? Today, we will be treating a question that has baffled ladies for ages. An enlightened member of the male gender would like to tell us;
Why men are not straightforward.
Why do men find it so difficult to be upfront? Do they think all women are illogical, irrational beings?
I’m going to be down to earth here and brutally frank. And my answer to the question is “Yes!” But now let me temper my response. We know-we the male half of the species and most of the females agree that you guys are more emotional than we are and you depend more on your feelings in making decisions. Of course, there is this tendency to generalize and consign women to the stereotype of weak, emotion driven beings who allow feelings to defeat logic and make a mess of things if you let them have their way, while on the other end, there is the consensus-to an extent-that men are big, strong, overgrown babies who pretend to be macho and allow ego to scatter things because they wont talk about how they feel and settle issues amicably. You females also go on to describe men as having a cunning, heartless side, with their natural feelings ‘seared with hot iron’ and hence the statements like ‘men are heartless’, ‘all men are liars’…kaza kaza and so forth.
Our big brother, Pastor Olumide Emmanuel warns: ‘never take your heart on a journey without your brain.’ Guess who is bigger culprit of this particular misdemeanour…girls or guys?
Remember him saying; ‘never ignore warning signals!’. Now, who is more likely to be so deep in love that all the signs bounce off the receptors like a drug that has been irreversibly blocked, girls or guys?
To both, it’s girls! And that is why, some of us argue, they are called the weaker sex, because they are more emotion driven and ergo more likely to get hurt. Men are more logic-based so they tend to act more out of self-interest(or selfishness, if you will) and thus they quickly recognize unprofitable ventures and either take steps to reconfigure it in a profitable way or abandon it early, cutting their losses and moving on, not caring about the other party.
Girls have more capacity to love, so they keep on believing all things and hoping all things. Now it is good for people to live with a 1 Cor 13 mindset but it is also crucial to add the street sense of proverbs.
To the natural male, pleasure gets precedence over truth. Your desire to get an intimate companion makes you put on your best behaviour, compels you to hide your flaws, put your best foot forward(with you new patent leather shoe on it) and bury all the ugly issues for later.
I think guys that do that subconsciously hope that the issues will just disappear, or that the girl will be so into them that she will forgive the deception and carry on the relationship or maybe they use avoidance as a defense mechanism.
So what does this all mean? What do we do to avoid being hurt, or being fooled? The first step is to know God and have a personal relationship with Him. If you know God and walk with Him, you gradually become the right kind of person and you can attract the right kind of mate. Of course you need to avoid settling for less too. Knowing God intimately helps you to choose with His standards in mine. The second point is to build yourself up as a man or women of faith. If you walk in faith in God’s promises you will never allow the pressure of time or circumstances to push you into making a wrong choice or compromising your standards in an attempt to please a man at the expense of doing what is right.
By Ifeoluwa Odedina.
So there you have it, I’d like to hear what the ladies and the guys have to say about this. Drop your comments.