14 Dec Focus on the family.
Focus on the family will be dealing with family issues in a humorous way. Please leave your comments and suggestions in the comment box.
The Best Of Both Worlds.
This is free but simple advice to all single men who are afraid of tying the knot. I’m going to prove to you that being a married man doesn’t mean you have to surrender your freedom or make those arduous sacrifices you’ve been dreading. There is a way to actually get the best of both worlds. How can you do that? I’ll tell you the secret.
I assume you are a working man. Find a good girl, a morally upright one preferably from a middle class background. Shower her with attention (this won’t take as much of your time as you think). All you need is to make some strategically placed calls early in the morning and late at night. Don’t worry if you don’t have time to see her often, just let her know how busy you are, but carve out time to see her at least once a month when you become Mr. Romantic with candlelight dinners, take her to the movies, give her gifts, shower her with compliments and yes you can throw in lots of snuggling. Go easy on the intimacy move though. She’ll run away if you don’t take it slow. After three months of this, profess your undying love to the girl. In other words ask her to be your wife.
Getting married is as easy as anything. All you have to do is propose. Once you do so, your bride to be and her relatives will do all the work and all the planning. To save yourself unnecessary stress, agree to their demands. Your bride to be must also be working so she can make her own contributions to the wedding. Don’t be too stingy in your contributions-remember you are making an investment but try to conserve your money as much as you can.
After the honeymoon which is usually blissful, real life begins. Now, you begin to be afraid. You now have responsibilities. You have to be home at a certain time. You have to start giving her your money and so on. But fret not. A method has been devised to save your bachelorhood.
As a working man, work comes first. Leave early for work every morning; do not hang around the house. When I say early, I mean early. Apart from ensuring that your boss is pleased with your punctuality, it will save you from doing any unnecessary chores in the house such as dropping off the children at school, helping your wife with the dishes or with breakfast, cleaning or any other thing your spouse would want you to do before leaving for work in the morning. If you are afraid you won’t have enough sleep, then I can tell you it is worth it. You can catch a few minutes of sleep in your office before the day begins. Now if your wife is a good girl (like the kind I asked you to pick) then you can be sure those tasks would also be done even if she also has to `to go to work. (She must work too; remember you don’t want a liability). In fact, a good wife would not want you to go to work hungry so she wouldn’t mind getting up extra early to ensure that you take a good home-cooked meal to work. Make sure to appreciate her with a peck before you leave in the morning so she’ll continue to do it.
Another issue is that as a married man you have to come home early or so your wife expects. But you don’t have to do that. It may be a little tricky if you’re not the kind that knows how to check in. What I mean by checking in is, if you want to stay out late (which you should if you are a virile young man that wants to enjoy life), then call your wife ahead of time. Tell her how the day is going to look like-you know meetings and meetings that will likely be prolonged so that she will be prepared. I believe that when you are about to get married, you did not make the mistake of telling your old girlfriends that you were no longer on the dating circuit. Even if you did, it makes little difference these days. Many of them will stick with you if they believe you still know how to have a good time. Then go out on the town. Your wife will not be too disturbed since you’ve already pre-informed her. And then don’t be dumb by getting drunk. Just drink enough to get a ‘buzz’ and be sensible enough to stop after that. Then never keep messages from your girlfriends, delete it as soon as it is read. Too many men have made that mistake. Don’t also befriend women that your wife knows or may get to know. Avoid things like lipstick stains on your shirt or the smell of another woman’s perfume on your body. If you need to, take a shower before going home. These are just a few precautions. Then don’t use that excuse of late meetings all the time (it’s a lame excuse) so be creative. ‘Go’ for conferences, retreats, training sessions, etc. then so your wife will keep believing you, make it a point to get home before midnight and then choose a day in the week to come before ten p.m. Now if you live in Lagos, you know you can blame traffic for everything.
What about the money issues? Here it’s also a little tricky. In the first few months of marriage be generous (you know the way you behave when you first meet a girl) then later on tell her you want to invest your money and that it’s going to be tied up for a while. She’ll believe you more readily because you’ve been generous in the past. Tell her that you need her help to take care of the basic needs of the family while you invest in the family’s future. Do not forget one major way to keep her happy. The monthly indulgence (you know the one where you become Mr. Romantic). Keep it going at least once a month. Take her out, do something special for her, be attentive just for one night. Many women can live on less and your wife will be happy that you care that much.
One major problem is that your wife may be perceptive (as most women are) and might feel that all is not as it seems. One easy way to avoid this is correctly placed words (like apples of gold in settings of silver). Every player knows the right words to say to a woman. Encourage her; be suave even when you can manage it. Always keep in touch when you are away from home. Go with her to some functions on occasion. Try to remember birthdays. That’s what the alarms on your phone are meant for.
If you play the game well, you’ll have a woman who is devoted to your every need, who will keep house for you, take care of the children even pay the bills while you still have time to go out with your friends and enjoy your youth. She will even be your bedmate when you desire it.
However, there is one major glitch in my well thought out plan. If you happen to love your wife; then my advice will do you no good.