08 Apr The stalker
They come in various sizes and shapes. They may be snappy dressers or wear wierd clothing(yeah like wearing red on pink, and yes it did happen). They may be high class, middle or low class. They may be male or female(though more often male. But they have one thing in common. They are an unmitigated nuisance.
In psychiatry, there’s a phenomenon known as ‘erotomania.’ In this condition, the affected person believes that a person usually famous is in love with him/her and this person then goes about to reciprocate that ‘false’ affection refusing to believe otherwise even when it is proved to them that the subject is not and has never been in love with them. Stalkers are one step short of being erotomaniacs, in that they know that the subject does not love them and most times wants nothing to do with them, but still go on ahead to plague them anyway. Stalkers expend a lot of time and energy, even money trying to convince the other party to fall in love with them. And no matter how much it is screamed into their ears, how many slammed doors or receivers they get, how many calls are ignored, how many messages are left unanswered, they don’t seem to get it.
It has puzzled me for a while how an individual can continue to pursue someone who has no feelings for him/her. It is one thing to have an undeclared affection for someone. That usually does more harm than good and such feelings should be expressed. However, if the feelings are expressed and the other party evidently doesn’t feel the same way, the best strategy is to move back. But stalkers do not seem to realize that. To me, unrequited love has to be one of the most painful things that can happen to a body in this universe. Then, to have that rubbed in your face over and over again? That must be worse. But evidently stalkers don’t think so.
A reason that has been postulated for stalking is that they enjoy the thrill of the chase. They probably believe that the more they keep on disturbing the other person, the more likely the person given in. I doubt if that ending usually happens. Sometimes they even end up with a restraining order!
One of the best things in the world is being told ‘I love you.’ But being told ‘I love you’ continuously by the wrong person who refuses to let u alone is on the other end of the spectrum. The good news though is that there is a limit to stalking. It may take a while but eventually the people tire of their stalking ways and move on to someone else. So, if you’re being stalked, hang in there, there’s an end in sight!
P.S: Today, we tried to examine the mind of the stalker, next week we’ll try to examine the person being stalked and what we can do to avoid it if possible or at least protect ourselves. But before we do that, we’d like to hear your views. What do you think makes a stalker tick? At what point do we say a person is being stalked? Have you ever been stalked before? If so, how did you deal with it? Let us hear from you.