27 May The Tight-Fisted Ogre
A friend once asked me which scenario was worse: having a relationship with a miser or with one who had pathological jealousy. I couldn’t decide definitively but I felt both were awful. Then it hit me that no one comes bearing a tag on their head saying; ‘I’ll never give you a penny’ I’m not talking necessarily about the men, both sexes are liable to both evils. His comment got me thinking though. How would I know that a potential partner has those danger signals marked on his forehead? So I decided to do a little research starting with the tight fisted ogre first and this is what I came up with:
1. He/she will never offer to take you out: They might say all the sweet nothings but when it comes to spending money on you, suddenly they have nothing to say or offer. Or they have something to give…an excuse. If he does manage to take you out, it becomes a red flag when he insists that you take out your wallet and pay for the date. If it’s your first date and he asks you to do this, don’t wait any longer. Run! It might be hard because they are usually very good flatterers but you need to do it.
2. He/she likes talking about money they’ve saved: It’s as if they want you to be proud of them for having been able to save so much money. They might not even tell you the exact amount for fear you’ll ask them for it, but it’s a ready excuse they give when issues with money comes up. “I’m trying to save, honey.”
3. They don’t buy you gifts: We are not talking about the lavish, expensive gifts on the go. We are talking about periods that might require some sort of gift-giving like birthdays and Christmas. Don’t listen to their lies about always not being able to find something suitable enough for you or that their love for you is so much more than any gift. Fiddlesticks! They’re just being cheapskates.
4. They find an excuse not to tip and always asks for discount: Your man or woman can never for once make the statement: “Keep the change,” not even when they are in the Beverly Hills hotel. But they can always ask for a discount on everything
5. They don’t mind borrowing money from you: when a guy asks a lady to borrow him money very early on in a romantic relationship, it’s a red flag.
It’s also a red flag if a lady asks a guy for money when she just starts dating him. What sets a tone for how a relationship is going to turn out is those early interactions. So be warned. You may have to keep on doling out and doling out to maintain the relationship.
Being cheap is not about not having a lot of money. It’s centered on selfishness. The center of a cheapskate’s world is always himself. A cheap guy will never make another person a priority, and this isn’t limited to financial matters. A cheap guy may spend a fortune on his car and stereo system but begrudge you a chicken salad if he has to pay for it. No one is saying he shouldn’t spend his money on the things he wants. The problem is his not wanting to spend any of his money on you. This is really because you are not his real priority. (This applies to ladies too).
I personally don’t see how anyone can afford to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t see you as important.
In the long run, no matter how smitten you are, it’s better to give yourself some tough love and run because contemplating forever with a tight fisted ogre can only lead to one thing…a nightmare.
P.S: It is likely that these are not all the features of tight fisted ogres. Please share your experiences and opinions in the comment box.